I have one more final today and then I’m finished! I’m so grateful to be done (well, almost done) with this stressful semester. That being said, I have something to tell you all.
About two months ago I was driving home from school absolutely exhausted because stress had kept me up the night before; I complained to my mom on the phone that I was so tired but couldn’t rest because I had more homework to do once I got home. She asked me, “Is this worth it?”
That stayed in the back of my mind for awhile but I didn’t think too much of it- I was too busy. Then a few weeks later, I broke down because I didn’t do as well on a Physiology test as I wanted and the question popped into my head. Is this worth it? Without even thinking, I answered myself: no, it’s not. It’s not worth it.
I’ve spent the past four months more stressed than I’ve ever been. My anxiety has been so high, I developed insomnia, something I’ve never experienced on a consistent basis before. I spent all my time at school or in my office at home studying. On weekends, I’d wake up, get coffee, and start doing schoolwork until dinnertime. I basically saw Ryan for an hour at night. I usually see my parents fairly often but as the semester went on, I barely saw them. When I nannied, instead of playing with the little girl I watch, I had to set her up to entertain herself while I did homework. I hardly remember the last time I spent time with friends.
You can tell from my workout recaps that my workouts tapered off as the semester picked up. Not only did I workout less, I felt as though my Jazzercise classes suffered because I simply didn’t have enough time to focus on it. I had to stop offering PT sessions. I cooked less and less as the semester went on and by the end, we were eating takeout at least half the week. I stopped blogging. Basically my life came to revolve around school.
This semester was tough and looking at the schedule I had planned, the rest of the semesters were going to be just as bad. I had a summer class scheduled to start on Monday, only two days after my last final, followed by seven online credits in eight weeks. The thought of it all made me want to cry.
Is it worth it? No, it’s not. I want to be registered dietitian but not at the expense of my relationships, my health, and my sanity. I value my family too much to miss out on time together for another two and a half years. Health, physical and mental, is a high priority for me and I’m not okay putting it off any longer.
I’m no longer completing the combined MPH-RD program. I’ll finish my MPH in Physical Activity and Healthy Lifestyles and graduate at the end of next year. I’m taking fewer credits each semester, which will allow me to spend more time with my family, relax, and do things I enjoy, like workout and blog.
Even though I’m disappointed the RD program didn’t work out, I know I’m making the right decision. I’ll talk about it more but right now I’m going to take my final and then finally take a break.